The other day I had a discomforting situation. My friend and I stopped at a woman’s house, she lives with 8 others, and is confined to her home—cleaning and cooking—like the majority of Dominican women. Every time I go by she basically begs for me to come in, clearly lonely and interested in the American volunteers that arrive in this community.
I’ve been helping my friend Auriel look into academic scholarships in the Dominican Republic as well as the States. I guess she got wind of it, because she started wheeling off on a strange tangent.
“When will you come back? You don’t know when you will be able to? You have to come back within this year. We are your friends. Friends help friends. You are helping this friend…so why don’t you help more than him? You will bring him to the states, so what about me? If you ask me to go with you there, I will go with you in a minute! I’ll pack my bags right now. Or you could even send us a little bit of money. She (referring to me, looking at Auriel) doesn’t understand anything I’m saying does she?”
“I understand everything. I’m just not really sure what to say.” I responded.
This situation made me uncomfortable, but with more thought...and more time here…I think I’m beginning to understand it.
More than ½ of the people in this community don’t have jobs, and more than ½ of the people in this community are fed and housed through money sent from family living in the states.
Other than sending checks, these relatives call on occasion, and the lucky ones come back for a visit, adorned with glimmering earrings from the U.S., smiling with more cherub-like cheeks and a larger waist line.
Not only are Dominicans subjected to their families firsthand experiences, but they see an idealized life on American television shows, or read about the luxurious lives of celebrities in Spanish-language US weekly magazines. They realize the difference between themselves and the American volunteers that arrive here, who pull out cash for beverages or leisurely trips to beach with ease.
All of these things subject them to a life that is far different from anything they know, and far different from the one many of them will lead.
The people here face daily realities that are unheard of in the states.
To give a few examples…
A robbery of the nicest old lady in town in the middle of the night, only to have her pay the police to investigate on her behalf and do absolutely nothing. The thief went to jail for 2 days, and is now back in the community sporting a nice new watch and fancy sunglasses that the stolen items helped pay for.
A young man hit by a motorcycle, brought to the hospital in need of an immediate operation and forced to lay on the ground with only his sister’s feet as a pillow for 9 hours because the doctor’s were aware that he was very poor. Part of his fractured skull was later given to his sister to guard in the freezer.
Children who have no idea how old they are or when their birthday is because their parents don’t care enough to retrieve/ or lost their birth certificate.
People sporting “Llego papa” t-shirts (Papa has arrived) in support of a previous ruler who did absolutely nothing for the country, but will likely be the next ruler due to his ability to buy people’s votes. The poor people in this community, desperate for some extra cash, willingly agree and now wear their t-shirts in anticipation for election day, in which they will help put into place a ruler who will do absolutely nothing for them nor their country.
Kids that go to school for 3 hours a day, and graduate without being able to spell or read. I’ve come to realize this while correcting a friend’s English homework, in which I ended up correcting not only English spelling mistakes, but basically every word in Spanish that he wrote down.
It’s through these happenings and realizations through the relationships I’ve developed with Dominicans, that I’ve been able to understand why this woman would have this strange, discomforting, but now a lot more comprehensible conversation with me…
Even though all the things I wrote are real things that have happened here... I dont want you guys to get the wrong impression. Dominican culture is rich and vibrant.. and I've seen a lot of positive things happen in this community that have given me a lot of hope.. for example:
My friend Auriel, who is incredibly devoted to learning English. He studies every night on his own accord. I was troubled because him and his friend Bingo were drinking a beer (which is completely normal/acceptable for a 15 year old here) and after confronting them about it, they explained to me that they would never drink more than one and they plan on it staying that way for the rest of their lives, because they want to have a brighter future and know that drinking can interfere with that...
My friend Miguel--who concerns himself with the issues of the people in his community more than any other person I have met, any is now working to produce an organic chinola farm & will devote 40% of its proceeds to the needs of the community..
The kids that come to the youth groups I run without fail, always bright eyed and willing to learn whatever I throw their way..
Maria dulce.. the woman who was robbed.. nearly 80 and still maintaining an unwitheringly positive attitude and zest for life
The National champion marathon runner who lives in a nearby community who although has gone to faraway places, still returns to train the young potential runners of this town, as well as put on a multi-city marathon that I'll witness in Sept...
People's hospitality, you can't walk by a home without having them invite you in and offering you a fresh juice and their complete attention
The connection between families: they never grow apart, because they usually live in the same home or a few doors down for the duration of their lives. They depend on each other heavily, and as a result will do anything for one another...
And of course the list goes on!
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